As a girl of African descent who grew up in the UK and had conversations with friends who grew up in the same way in the diaspora, it seems that the dowry or bride price is becoming a rather alien concept, the meaning of which for us in the 21st century becomes all the more distorted. The prejudice is somewhat rooted in the perception that this is a degraded practice and that women tend to be victims of insensitive husbands who abuse their wives because they say they paid for them. In modern times, however, it seems that many are unaware that the bride price also served to protect women, as it prevented the dissolution of marriage. For example, if a man abused his wife, he would have to pay more money. He wouldn`t get a divorce because it would be a loss, especially if he had to pay for another woman. While there is no single form of dowry or African „culture“ or „tradition“ per se, I believe that the bride price is still relevant to someone like me and my colleagues. Now, I`m not advocating that we go back to a system where my value to my future husband depends on how many cows he can afford to give to my family. To be honest, if my future husband gave my father a cow, I doubt very much that he would be able to raise it in his garden or find much use in Birmingham. Rather, it is the symbolism behind the bride prize that leads me to believe that we should incorporate elements of the bride price into modern marriage in the diaspora. You can make an agreement with the in-laws that the said items will be voluntarily given by them to their daughter for their marriage without your claim. Then the same is not considered a dowry Hindu marriage is not a contract, so such an agreement is not valid.
But the bride`s page can make a written statement attested by 2 witnesses of her page and a witness of your page – list of everything that was given as a gift in the wedding, and no other item in the form of dowry and gift requested and rejected by the groom`s site, everything that has been offered as a gift. I can say that Africans in the diaspora have no contact with the events of the motherland, only when I read this article. In African countries like Kenya today, those who pay the bride price for wives pay those whose parents are wealthy and who can afford to pay it or who have well-paying jobs in the private sector. In the past (before the arrival of Europeans in Africa in the 1800s), paying the dowry was not meant to boast about others or even show the wealth of the groom`s family. Today, this is THE MAIN REASON why those who can afford to pay the bride`s price do so. People say it`s about making the bride feel special, but that`s really not the case. To give you an example, look: The other reason why a generalizing argument that dowry is good for all Africans is not practical is because it does not take into account the relationship between the adult child and his parents. Let me give my own example here. I am an African citizen who has a very strained relationship with my parents.
Throughout my growing years, my parents were extremely me and my siblings – which is quite common in African families where children are seen and not heard. When I was an adult, I had many emotional problems that I suspected were caused by my parents` excessive harshness towards me. I couldn`t afford to pay for a therapist, so I turned to the only resource I had – the Internet. 2. You cannot prevent your wife from filing a dowry complaint. Under the Indian Contracts Act, any agreement to limit criminal remedies is not permitted. these agreements are not legally enforceable and also result in disruptions in the relationship. Better not to take anything and if they try to give you something, then you ask them to give the same in the name of the girl. Few people outside of Africa know how much the Internet has exploded across the continent. In my case, before I bought a laptop, I would visit internet cafes to read things like entanglement, infantilization of adult children, and spousification. I literally started to heal my emotions with the help of „Dr.
Google“,“ as Africans like to say. Well, although I am healed and have accepted my past, I could not imagine the situation in which my parents receive a dowry from my future husband and his family. My parents almost killed me when I was young – I now live DESPITE the way they treated me. My friends told me to „forgive and forget“ and told me that my parents only treated me the way they were treated by THEIR parents, but I really didn`t want to hear it. I have forgiven, but I cannot forget. These things can be done, i.e. an affidavit that you have not taken a dowry, etc. But this will not be beneficial and useful in your relationship with the bride and her loved ones.
You can get in writing from the bride/her parents that they do not give a dowry or ask for a dowry, the same can be signed by her parents. Now that there is no marriage contract in India that is legally viable. You can`t have a document at all. The terms „dowry“ and „bride price“ are sometimes mistakenly used to translate Mahr, but Mahr is different from dowries in many other cultures. A dowry traditionally refers to the money or property that a woman brings to marriage, usually provided by her parents or family; The bride`s price for money or property paid by the groom or his family to a woman`s parents (but not to the woman herself) at the time of marriage. As a woman, once married, you are part of your spouse`s family – you take his name and facets of this character. You are no longer the same person you were before you got married. Yes, of course, this is to be expected, since marriage means that two entities become one; and yes, the husband also welcomes changes to the person he once was – but undeniably, it is the wife who gives her groom more of herself. Bringing the cows home, or rather, the symbolism carried by the dowry, should remain an important feature of marriage. Behind this, there is a certain respect and honor for the family, which has worn out a bit and is a good foundation for the bridal couple when they start their new chapter. To summarize, contrary to the general impression that has been regularly conveyed today, often promoted and propagated by the Western media and commentators, and often held or parroted by young modern Africans who are largely misinformed or less informed, indoctrinated by the West with regard to the basic SYMBOLISM of the practice of dowry or bride pricing in African marriages, The fact is really that, on closer inspection, it is the African bride dowry and price system that actually has many positive dimensions that are actually far superior to anything white culture has to offer or could ever offer in terms of elements that ensure the committed longevity of marriage.
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